How DARE You Apple

By @zachfeldman
Written on Oct 27, 2016

How dare you Apple?!

How dare you take away one port for another? You’ve never done that before. [Firewire anyone?]

How dare you make this computer thinner by changing the way the keys feel. That basically makes you satan.

How dare you not allow me to have more than 16GB of RAM! How am I supposed to have 400 tabs of YouPorn and compile my Python code at the same time while mining bitcoin?

Can someone recommend a good Linux laptop? I’d rather spend 30% of my time configuring things than working.

Microsoft is at least 100x more innovative for releasing a huge board that I can draw something on. Have you seen how it pivots? HAVE YOU SEEN IT?!

The last thing this world needs is a FUNCTION STRIP. Why even try experimenting? WE NEED USB PORTS. REGULAR USB PORTS ARE WHAT PROFESSIONALS NEED. PROFESSIONAL. COMPUTER. USERS. Ever think about them Steve Ive? Jony Steve?

But I was waiting for a new Macbook Air model! I need a thin, powerful computer with less processing power for the same price! I’LL PASS

How could you remove MagSafe?! I don’t care that now I can charge future phone models with the same cord! I want my Magnetic Safety!

THIS IS THE MISTAKE THAT IS ONE STEP TOO FAR. Your revenue started to decline too. THIS IS IT FOLKS. THIS IS THE END OF APPLE.

SD card reader removed?! You’ve never removed peripheral media bays. How dare you take away my 5.5" floppy drive in the age of the cloud.

CLEARLY APPLE HASN’T BEEN LISTENING TO ITS USERS THAT POST ONLINE AND CARE ABOUT TECHNOLOGY NEWS.

Make Apple great again! Remember when we had Purple Clamshell Kernel Panic-ed 100Mhz machines? I need a handle for my laptop, please.

Why can’t the battery last for 15 days already? Battery technology should be easy enough to figure out. That Musk guys seems to know how to pack some batteries in, eh Mr. Cook?

But anyway, HOW DARE you, Apple. HOW DARE YOU. HOW. DARE. YOU.

/s





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